So as I slowly sew together the varying threads of my once tattered life, I feel hope and enthusiasm that writing will get me through it, as it once did about 7 years ago. The main difference between then and now is that I was so alone then... a new city with no friends and a small rented room.
Now... now I have an army. Friends. Girls. Trannies. BFF's. A 6th floor apartment overlooking the Capitol and downtown Denver. A daughter who will save the Universe. And I have my friend Sarah back.
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Next on the agenda - something I've put off... my vlog.
I feel it's important that my daughter Karma one day be able to look back and know what this period of our lives was like. With a mother 1000 miles away and a single dad raising her, I hold no illusions that this will be easy. I happily spin a dozen plates at once to grant her the illusion of stability in her life, so she doesn't grow up as I had to, bouncing around to relatives, moving every 6 months, changing schools just when I was making new friends. I live each day to put a smile of joy on her dear face. I want to show her one day, not to take her joy away, but as a way of letting her know that all I did was for her, and if there was something we had to do without - it was for a good reason. I welcome any and all advice on this.
Also - I turn 40 one week from today. It scares me that I feel like a scared 19 year old most of the time. Like I'm afraid that someone is going to find out that I'm only pretending to be an adult through some ingenious aging ray, or a misguided wish on a Zoltar machine.
In so many ways, I'm still a child in the sun... wishing for one more day of Summer.
